


Connor Hates Paperwork

by starknight



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor and Nines prank the DPD, Crushes, Cutesy, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hank gives Connor advice, M/M, One Shot, RK1700 - Freeform, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has Feelings, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name, Upgraded Connor | RK900 is called Nines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 13:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16620206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starknight/pseuds/starknight
Summary: Connor really hates paperwork. It's one of the downsides of deviancy. So is crushing on Nines. Until, of course, it isn't.





	Connor Hates Paperwork

Connor hated paperwork. It wasn’t actually on paper, for a start, and Hank never did any so there was twice as much,  _ and _ Connor hated how all the forms had such repetitive, redundant information required, and… Really, there were better things to be looking at.

Connor had spent very little of his day at the DPD doing actual police work, some more annoying Gavin Reed, and the rest mooning over the new RK900, Nines. He hadn’t thought he’d been too obvious until Hank spoke when they were driving home.

“So, you gotta crush on the new kid?”

Connor jumped in his seat. “What - uhm - no, no, I am a very professional worker and - I wouldn’t - I am the android of no emotions and -”

“Woah, woah, kid, it’s fine, it’s natural.” Hank snuck a glance across the car at him. “You wanna talk about it?”

Connor moaned and let his head fall forwards onto the dashboard. “I’m a mess,” he said miserably. “I have the best processor - well, second-best - of any android and I can’t concentrate because of stupid  _ Nines.” _ The android had gotten his name within his first day at the DPD. Two Connors would get way too confusing. “He’s so beautiful, and his hair is perfect, and his jawline and his lips and just his - well - everything! How can I do paperwork when I could be admiring him?”

Hank snorted. “You got it bad, son. Look, it’ll be easier if you just tell him how you feel. Then you get an answer, and you don’t gotta worry about it any more.”

Connor froze. That hadn’t really occurred to him. “It’s more of a… distance… worship… thing.”

“Con, if I’ve learnt one thing in life, it’s that you gotta make the most of the time you have. Don’t muck around with your damn insecurities when you could be out there living your life, yeah?”

“I… will take that advice into account. Thank you, Hank.”

“I told you, you can call me Dad. Idiot.”

“Thanks, Dad idiot.”

“Fucking androids.”

 

The next day, Connor saw Nines loitering at the coffee machine. The new patch for androids eating and drinking hadn’t been released yet, so he wasn’t sure what the prototype was doing there.

“Hello, Nines,” he greeted, leaning on one of the standing tables. “Nice to look at - I mean, uh, see you. Are you - coffee?” He gestured to the machine. RA9 save him, he was a disaster. A gay disaster.

Nines turned to look at him. “Good morning, Connor.” His deep voice set off a thrill in Connor’s thirium pump. “I am glad to see you, too.” His eyes swept up and down Connor’s form so quickly that Connor would have missed it if not for his top of the range optical unit. “I am not making coffee. Can you keep a secret, Connor?”

Connor nodded quickly. Nines beckoned him closer. Connor held his breath (not that he actually needed to breathe) and leaned in so that his ear was near Nines’ mouth.

Nines leaned in so that Connor felt the faint breeze as he spoke, and  _ wow _ that did a lot to turn him on. “I am hacking the coffee machine to break specifically for Gavin Reed.”

Never had sexier words been spoken, Connor was sure of it. He drew back and gave Nines a wide grin. “I have faith that you will accomplish your mission, Nines.”

“Thank you, Connor.”

 

When Gavin went for his first coffee of the day, Connor poked Hank in the arm.

“You’ll want to watch this, lieutenant,” he hissed. “I mean, dad. Whatever.”

“Kid, I haven’t got time for - oh my  _ god.” _

Gavin had pressed the coffee button, only to have the front of the machine pop open and lukewarm coffee (of course, Nines would hack the machine  _ safely) _ spill all over him. His shirt, tie, dress pants, dress shoes… This was a memory Connor would treasure forever. He put it in the highest tier of memory banks, to be replayed many a time.

He connected to Nines.  _ That was incredible. _

Nines responded immediately.  _ I dare you to do better. _

While Hank nearly pissed himself laughing, and Gavin swore enough to fill a jar for the year, Connor started planning for the most important prank ever.

 

“Detective Reed, I have suspect Adrian Ma in holding cell two for you,” Connor said smoothly. He could see Nines watching from his peripheral vision. “He has requested that no weapons be taken into the cell, as is his legal right.”

Gavin grumbled but put his gun and backup pistol on the desk. “Don’t you  _ dare _ touch these,” he snarled at Nines, who nodded. RA9, but he was majestic. Connor could watch him all day.

He realized he’d started staring when Gavin let out an impatient huff from beside him.

“Yes, as I was - um - as I was saying. Mr. Ma only trusts very specific people, and is not likely to talk to any police officer. Therefore, a special facial mask has been produced in the likeness of his mother. I have also acquired some clothes that might be fitting for a woman in her situation.”

“... You want me to dress up as an old lady? Are you fucking with me right now?”

 

That was how it came to pass that Gavin Reed, looking for all the world like a seventy year old woman, got temporarily stuck in holding cell two, beating on the glass and screaming about fucking androids. Honestly, his remarks were probably enough for hate crime prosecution.

_ Very nice, _ Nines said.  _ We could do great things together. _

Connor grinned and looked at Nines.  _ Let’s get on with it, then. _

 

It wasn’t a very difficult prank for two high-functioning androids, but it had elegance. Connor got to admire Nines’ frankly wonderful backside as he hacked into the DPD servers, and he also got to think up exciting and imaginative questions for a police exam. The pair observed their work from their respective desks as people started to filter in at eight thirty.

“Fuck,” said Hank. “Connor, can you get into your terminal? Mine’s blocked, or… something.”

“There are some new security measures,” Connor said calmly. “I was able to access my desktop after passing the test.”

“There’s a  _ test?” _ said Detective Hoang.

“Christ, it’s not even proper morning yet…”

“I need coffee before this shit.”

“What fucking bastard set this up, then?”

Nines and Connor had set up a new security protocol on the DPD server. Before anyone was able to log in to their work, they had to pass a test. It was all examinable in the basic training exercises, so they should all theoretically be able to pass. But, looking at the wrecked detectives in front of them… Connor grinned at the havoc they were wreaking.

Nines messaged Connor.  _ This is beautiful. _

_ You’re beautiful, _ Connor sent before he could think. Then he flushed bright red.  _ I mean, you’re… Well, you  _ are _ beautiful, but I’m not… If you don’t want… I won’t…  _

He saw Nines run a hand through his (perfect, wonderful) hair from across the room. The android leapt up out of his seat and hurried towards where Connor was sitting. _ What have I done, _ he berated himself. Nines was coming after him now, and everything was ruined just when they had the perfect prank…

Connor pushed himself out of his seat and ran out of the DPD, his shoes skidding on the snow outside as he sprinted up the street. He was such a good for nothing, worthless -

_ Wait, _ Nines sent.  _ Connor, please wait. _

Connor slowed and then came to a stop. He took a deep breath and turned around. Time to face his fears, and possibly, the only android model who was both angry and stood a chance of taking him out. 

Nines jogged towards him, stopping a few paces away.

“Connor, I think you have made a mistake,” the android said seriously. Connor’s thirium pump felt like it dropped to his feet. How illogical. “I am not beautiful.”

Confusion rained down upon Connor. “You… What?”

“You heard me.” Nines frowned. “I think they rushed the RK900’s development. The RK800 model is so much more… appealing.”

_ Was that a… a compliment? _

Connor only realized he had broadcast that thought to Nines when he received a digital reply.

_ I… yes. _

His thirium pump had not fallen to his feet, and it was working double time. Quite happily.

“Nines, you - you’re beautiful. Not any other RK900, though, just you. I like… you.” Connor was breathless as he waited in the lightly falling snow.

Nines raised his storm-grey eyes to Connor’s and moved forwards, smooth and sleek as a panther. Connor realized he was going to kiss him just a second before he did, face too close for anything else, and then his fingers twisted into Connor’s shirt and Nines’ mouth was on his and - 

Connor could have passed out from the sensation. It felt like everything melting into place, all in the world finally as it should be. Nines kissed him carefully, tenderly, as if he was scared Connor would break beneath his fingers. It filled Connor with a feeling he couldn’t begin to describe. Nines’ hand slid to his neck and a thumb stroked his jaw slowly. Connor sighed into Nines’ mouth as subtly as he could. Which wasn’t very subtle at all.

He felt Nines’ mouth curve into a smile beneath his and he grinned in response, breaking off the kiss to lower his head to Nines’ shoulder. They held each other for a long moment, Nines laying his head onto Connor’s and breathing in the scent of his hair, perfectly content.

_ You realize the entire DPD is going to think this is another prank, _ Connor sent with a smile.

Nines chuckled, the sound reverberating through his chest.  _ Let them think what they want. _

 

However, when Connor and Nines entered the DPD holding hands and exchanging shy glances, all that was said around the station was “finally”, with some mutters and rolled eyes at the oblivious androids.

Connor kissed Nines goodbye on the cheek as they went to their separate desks, then settled down to his paperwork. Two seconds staring at a temporary release form informed him, however, that his work ethic had not actually improved after his and Nines’ changed relationship. If anything, it was even more pleasant to look at Nines’ majestic, wonderful form now. 

Connor sighed, and replayed the memory of their kiss for the rest of the day. After all, if Hank didn’t have to do any paperwork, then why should he?

**Author's Note:**

> Quick one shot because I felt like it, please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoy!! Much love to the dbh community, you are all amazing!!! Also I love RK1700 so much and there needs to be more <3


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